Thinking about the Future and reflecting about the Past and about what is going on in the Present

This is what I wrote a couple of days ago here: https://auntyuta.com/2021/08/04/wednesday-diary-4th-of-august-2021

Wednesday Diary – 4th of August 2021

There is something that I do not like, namely how I neglect again and again writing down things that are of importance to me. There are now so many long very lonely hours when I have time to reflect a lot. And I really do reflect a lot, yes very much indeed. Every so often I do contemplate about what I want to write down in my diary. So, why then don’t I write it down straight away? It’s simple, I always find an excuse, why I have to delay it for a while. When I finally open up the computer I check on this and on that. I tell myself, actually I cannot write anything personally right away. There are other things I want to do first on the computer. So, I get distracted, very distracted. Never mind, I tell myself. I can write my own stuff later. Right now, I just don’t feel up to it! Then when I actually think, now I can take time out to write something, I find it too difficult to remember anything I had been wanting to write about. So, I leave it for some other time . . . .

It is strange, how easy it feels at times to write something. I am sure, it’ll come to me soon.

Today is Friday, the 6th of August 2021.

So, while I was cooking my brunch today, I was mainly thinking about the future. I was contemplating what might be possible for me to undertake as far as travelling within Australia is concerned. Of course, as soon as possible I would like to visit my son again, who lives in Victoria. It would be nice if I could go to Benalla in Victoria sometime next month. My birthday is coming up towards the end of next month. To be honest, it does not look like travelling like this will be possible for me some time soon. Well, when then? Maybe towards the end of December? This is just a maybe. However, there is a little bit of hope. When I am in a hopeful mood, I imagine I could catch a train to Benalla. Now wouldn’t that be nice? I could catch the train in the Highlands at Moss Vale. Before catching the train, I might be able to spend a couple of nights in the Highlands. Maybe book a hotel somewhere and meet Gerard! Maybe I could join Gerard for his coffee mornings in Bowral. I would also like to go for a walk in the Lake Alexandra Reserve in Mittagong! https://auntyuta.com/2021/07/31/lake-alexandra-reserve/

If I can manage to take my rollator with me, a few slow moving, contemplative walks are really something to be looking forward for. Besides, if I do travel to Benalla and stay there with Martin for one or two weeks, I definitely need to have my rollator with me again. Last time I did stay with Martin for two weeks, was in March this year. I was fortunate then to have my rollator with me. And I was able to make good use of it, even though I did have an infection in my legs at the time.

Gerard mentioned this Lake Reserve in a few of his blogs, for instance here: https://oosterman.wordpress.com/2021/07/30/love-loss-lockdowns-and-a-possible-buddy/

Yes, if at all possible, I would like to spend some time in the Highlands! Maybe I could choose a time for my trip when daughter Caroline and son-in-law Matthew have a little holiday again. Recently both of them had some leave. But because of the lockdowns they could not travel anywhere. However, Caroline told me, they both felt they needed some time off. And being able to spend this time together in their beautiful home was the next best thing to doing some travelling.

So, I was thinking, whenever they can travel again and also have some time off, they might want to spend some time at my place in Dapto. I think they would very much like to see all the alterations to my place, especially the beautiful deck at the back of my house! I think the last time they were able to come to my place was on the 16th of May this year celebrating Peter’s birthday in memory of him.

LONELINESS!

I needed a break from writing. But I am back now! There is so much more to write! Why did I put ‘LONELINESS’ as a heading for my next section? Well, I could not help it. I feel, it is totally unnatural to be living totally on your own. Really, there are still so many things I could share with someone! Usually, I do not go much into matters of a believe in God. But I think the best way to put it when I think of the end of my life, is actually to say, when God calls me, I do not want to delay. But what I want to do and what I have not quite achieved yet, is, that I want to make the best use of the most likely very little time that may still be given to me. To make the best use of time? What is this. I feel, for a number of things, that I would like to be doing, this is really my last chance now. So, should I allow myself to feel angry about it, that there are quite a few things, that I meant to be doing, and that I still haven’t done yet? No, no, no. I have to learn not to be angry with myself. As a matter of fact, when I do make an effort to ‘love’ myself, I find it is easy for me to love people in general and to love life!

. . . . .

Today I haven’t done the dishes yet, even though I had a big, very healthy meal. So what? I can do the dishes later. I think, that should be alright. Today is Friday. In normal times I would this afternoon be playing Scrabble and Rummycub with my friends. But right now the law in the vicinity of Sydney is, that we have to stay in isolation. Actually, I totally agree with this law, since I want to do everything possible not to catch the virus. So, I am not going out visiting friends, and nobody is coming to visit me. If I’d expect my friends to visit me this afternoon, I’d have to do the dishes quick smart before everyone arrives, right? But neither my friends nor the queen are coming to visit today! This is why I decided to forgive myself for not doing the dishes straight away. To be honest, I am looking forward to doing the dishes later on; for I actually like doing the dishes! It gives me satisfaction to see everything being nice clean again. And while I do the dishes, I can let my thoughts go wandering . . . .

Recently, I have been thinking again and again, why one of Peter’s grandfathers and also one of my grandfathers had to die young when they still had children who had not quite grown up yet. So, my mother as well as Peter’s father had lost their fathers much, much too early. I wonder, how this may have effected their lives. My mum was only about eight when she lost her father in the Flu-Epidemic after WW One. Peter’s father was 15 when he lost his father in France in WW One. When he was 16 he volunteered to become a soldier in WW One and in WW Two he was a soldier again . . . .

Peter wrote about his grandfather, Otto Hannemann, here: https://berlioz1935.wordpress.com/2014/11/03/my-granddad-and-world-war-i/

Published by auntyuta

Auntie, Sister. Grandmother, Great-Grandmother, Mother and Wife of German Descent I've lived in Australia since 1959 together with my husband Peter. We have four children, eight grandchildren and two great-grandchildren. I started blogging because I wanted to publish some of my childhood memories. I am blogging now also some of my other memories. I like to publish some photos too as well as a little bit of a diary from the present time. Occasionally I publish a story with a bit of fiction in it. Peter, my husband, is publishing some of his stories under berlioz1935.wordpress.com

3 thoughts on “Thinking about the Future and reflecting about the Past and about what is going on in the Present

  1. Otto Hannemann died on the 2nd of December 1916. His son, Richard Hannemann, had by then actually turned 16 already for he was born on the 27th of October 1900.

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: